Cinema

19/1/23

"The movie is about to start,"says the staff working in the cinema.

I find an empty seat in the middle of the isle and sit down. The aisle starts to feel chilly as time pass. Slowly, I grab my cardigan and cover myself in it.

Today was a busy and hectic day. Finally, I get to have some time for myself. As I sat down, the armchair felt like a mother's hug that embraced me whole. What a comforting feeling.

After a long day of taking part in life, it's time for me to be an audience. Reality starts to bend and time slowly seeps out of the room as the movie continues to play.

Now, there's only me, the screen, the actors and the dialogue.

The cinema opens another gateway of reality for me. A reality where I sit, observe and be engrossed in it.

All my senses are directed to my vision and audition. My emotions slowly start to sync in with those of the characters. However, a hint of detachment still lingers in my being.

Detached from the outside.

Detached from the movie.

Detached from the cinema.

I'm now alone in my own space. This dark space with me, myself and I. My only attention is directed to the screen.

The characters start to morph into similar faces. Oh, wait , is this... my life?

Is my life playing right before my eyes?

Flashbacks start hitting at the back of my head. I know how each interaction will end because I experienced it all. I know at which instant will things go wrong because I lived to witness the consequences. I know which characters are major, which are minor. As all of them are visitors in my trajectory of life.

All these characters are recreating my life until now. What is shown on the screen is my past.

But this time feels different. My emotions are muted. How should I put it? It's like watching your favourite movie for the second time. You are more attuned to the details that you might have missed the first time. More empathy and understanding are shown to both others and to yourself.

After all, what happened happened. And when I made a mistake in the movie, instead of self-sabotaging, the me in the dark room would experience a novel sense of calmness. People and things appear neutral to me. In a sense, I get to decide my reactions and actions in a more controlled manner.

Life is a movie and I'm a part of it. I guess this is synonymous to reflecting upon oneself.

By reflecting, I get to digest and progress instead of stagnate and regress. The world would keep on revolving regardless of my presence. Allowing myself to reflect intermittently and consistently is just like treating myself for a movie night in this cinema.

Detach, digest, and reset.